In the beginning, there was nothing. Then, there was Rice. And God said “Let there be a college system,” and Baker, Will Rice, Hanszen and Wiess were made. And it was good. But God looked upon his creation and said “It is not right for Rice men to be alone. I will make partners suitable for them.” And to the North, Jones and Brown were created, and populated with women.

The ways of the other colleges were wicked; and in 1968, God said to the Board of Trustees, “ I am going to destroy these lame people, and I want you to build me a college that shall be six stories high. It shall be surrounded with grating, to protect those who dwell within from the evils outside. And I want you to populate it with two of every kind of male student from this campus. And ye shall call the college Edgar Odell Lovett College, after the first president, who guided this Institute fair and true, when it was young.” And it was done.

And when the waters of the flood vanished, the college opened in 1969. And from the beginning, God favored this college, and lo, the spirit of the college was raucous indeed. For at their first Central Committee meeting, the body voted to disband and spend the entire budget on beer, portable swimming pools and blinking Christmas lights. It soon became clear that the grating served more to protect the oustide world from Lovetteers, instead of the other way around.

But in 1980, God wished to curb the rowdiness. And He said, “It is not suitable for the men of Lovett to lie alone. I will create the perfect companions for them.” And so God brought many an animal to Lovett and yet the men found none of them pleasing, except for the squirrels, who were allowed to stay. And so it was then God decreed that women from Jones College were to be exchanged with Lovett males, and Lovett became co-ed.

God brought much fortune to this pious and humble college in the coming years. Many new colleges were erected, but they displeased God, as money was behind their motivations. And God said to Sid Rich and Speros Martel, “It is easer for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a college greater than Lovett to be created.” And so, Rice began official construction of its first Lovett colony, Sid Richardson and its first dormitory, Speros Martel. Amidst these edifices, Lovett stood out as a beacon of awesomeness. And God rewarded them with Beer Bike victories, President’s Cup sweeps, an alumnus who founded a brewery, the Undergrounds, and much, much more.

And today Lovett is known for its parties, including the best party on campus, Casino Party, its strong IM and college sports teams, its consistently awesome incoming class, having the most water balloons every year at Beer Bike, and much, much more. Truly, Edgar Odell Lovett College is God’s chosen one.